I was in a local drugstore over the weekend, and while I was standing in line, a man at the photo center was dropping off film to be developed. At first, he told the attendant that he wanted to send it off because it was less expensive. When she handed him a form to fill out, he balked and immediately changed his mind and said he would like the one-hour photo processing instead. When she STILL gave him a form to fill out, he was visibly uncomfortable and asked her to help him because he had left his glasses in the car. Here's the bad part: she told him she was busy and asked him to go get his glasses. He literally looked stricken. As a former reading tutor, I knew all too well that he didn't know how to read, and he wasn't about to admit that to her. I offered to help him fill out the form, which just asked him for his name, phone number, and photo preferences. It only took 5 minutes, and he was very grateful.
There are people everywhere, adults and children alike, who don't know how to read. There are adults who somhow managed to get through school without knowing how to read. My first reading student was a 25 year old woman with a high school diploma. Why this happens is way too complicated for a simple blog post, but many people have undiagnosed learning disabilities, and teachers chose to let them slide by instead of taking them the time to get the help they needed. Others were not afforded the opportunity to attend quality schools.
But the amazing thing is that people who can't read are masters at hiding it. They are ashamed to admit that they can't read and find ways to get other people to help them out. Their number one excuse? "I lost my glasses...can you help me out with this?" I can't seem to find any formal studies out there to back this up right now, but this is what all of my students told me.
Now, the man in the pharmacy didn't know how to read, but I didn't point that out to the cashier. I simply offered to help him fill out the form, and I did not mention to him that I was onto him. It goes without saying that the cashier was extremely rude and should have never been in the type of position where you have to help people, but that's not my point.
What IS my point here? You may be in a similar situation one day, and if you notice someone is struggling, take five minutes to help him/her out.
My only question here is that I WANTED to offer this guy help with reading. I wanted to point him to our local library that has a robust literacy program, but I didn't know how to do it without offending or embarrassing him. When I was a tutor, my students came to me for help and said they'd heard about the tutoring program through people in their community. How do we get people who can't read to seek help? How do we let them know there are programs out there to give them the help they need?
I'm afraid that I don't know the answer, Jill. But I think this is an important post. And many of these people who are struggling, unwilling or unable to ask for help, have kids. Kids who they can't read with. Sigh!
ReplyDeleteExcellent point about the kids, Jen. I think I'm going to talk to our local library to see how they get their literacy students and what they do to promote their program.
ReplyDeleteI was about to say to give them a business card, but i guess that amplifies the problem. in any case, if you could deliver them message that you can help, and if you can do it tactfully enough, with the skills you have learned at your job, then i bet they would take you up on the challenge.
ReplyDeleteif they had a cell phone, you could give them your number possibly. or use some tactic that you see them using.
>It goes without saying that the cashier was extremely rude and should have never been in the type of position where you have to help people, but that's not my point.
ReplyDeleteNothing the cashier did sounded anything more than slightly rude, at the maximum.
Anonymous--good suggestion, although that would have required chasing the already embarrassed man out into the parking lot.
ReplyDeleteTom--
I have to disagree with you here. If your job is to help customers, refusing to take five minutes max to write down someone's name and phone number, especially when they politely ask you for help, is not my definition of good customer service.
I have never believed in beating around the bush when it came to helping people out.
ReplyDeleteLanguage is very versatile. You could have said something along the lines of: 'soandso has a program that helps people [who have difficulty reading without glasses] and they organize classes. Maybe you want to check that out'.
My idea would be that these people find the inability to read a serious impediment to proceeding with their daily lives and at some point take steps to remedy that situation.
It is an utter disgrace that a school allows any student to graduate without the basic skills of reading and writing. If they can do nothing else [academically], they should at least know that. People who can read are victims of scam artists often enough. Imagine what that's like for people who really cannot read.
Literacy is civilization. If we cannot give that to our citizens we are failing as a civilization. The onus, I firmly believe, is on them since it is to their benefit, but it should be easy to get the help they so desperately need.
Anon--thanks for your comment. I wholeheartedly believe that it's important to be direct and honest in communication and that people who can't read should seek help. I guess I'm sensitive to their feelings because I've seen firsthand the shame and embarrassment they feel, but again, they KNOW they can't read and perhaps NEED someone to reach out to them. I don't think there is one tidy solution.
ReplyDeleteI know that the Wilson Reading Program is successful in teaching adults to read. Maybe we should share this bit of info so that those who need help know it is out there.
ReplyDeleteI was the same way when i was little. I started getting the hang of reading in the 5th grade. I was able to read by 7th. I was taken out of the reading classes after that since it helped. the funny thing that we did was read with old people. So you would not be ashamed. Since they had as much trouble as you did based on their vision. I still have trouble today with some stuff but its just around writing and spelling. I have one eye so my small motor skills sucks. So my hand writing sucked. Thank god for spell check and typing. I learned how to type in high school with typing class. This was still a issue for me since i had a learning disability. So sometime even now as im writing i write what words i know so sometimes i have trouble saying what i want to say. Its just part of my disability .
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ReplyDeleteI have a friend, i just met with the same problem, couple months ago i have asked him to help me out with my guest list for my wedding, by me giving him the names and he wrote it down in the book, he told me he had an headache and he cannot assist me at the moment. Thinking nothing of it, a few days later a text came in on his phone which i was using at the moment i read it because he had asked me to, so i showed him the text he deleted it and continued as if it was nothing. (The text stated please call me our daughter is in the hospital) and i was like to myself how could this man ignore a message like that? I could not ignore the issue any longer so i asked him if he wasn't gonna go to the hospital, he asked me why he need to go to the hospital, i told him what the text have said and it was as if i just gave him the bad news, that is when i knew that there was a problem
He is 33 years old, how does some one help someone in this age group to read? were to start?
I need help with this.. I have someone in my life, with the same problem..I don't want to force him.. but I know how hard it makes everything.. And I know how hard he works to hide it and live with it.. he probally is a genious..I swear its dyslexia.. he also has a high school diploma.. which really upsets me.. where do I start how do I get him help. I told him I would act like I could not read and take classes with him.. plz help!
ReplyDeleteThe clerk was not rude. Why should she fill out the form? The man should have learned to read (and write) along time ago. With liberals incharge of our failing education system there should be no excuse why the man cannot read. There are plenty of social welfare programs to finance his education. Don't you think?
ReplyDeletei Am 16 years old and still i ain't know how to read or do simply maths
ReplyDeletei Am 15 years old and still i ain't know how to read or do simply maths
ReplyDeleteThis is such a sad but so real ailment of our times! We have to be proactive. If even it is only you and one person that could use assistance. Let them know that you can personally help them, not just for a moment,rather with long term benefits. Of course it takes more then just empathy but also diplomacyand discretion. Perhaps taking the gentleman aside, and saying do you have a problem with forms? I have a method that will help you easily fill out any form? Do you have 10-15 minutes? I think given the right situation something on this order might work.
ReplyDeleteI was one of those people. but I think my problem was I was afraid to read out loud because the kids in my class would make fun of me. I would get so nervous that I would put words in the sentence was reading that we're there. it was really hard for me but little by little I taught myself how to read. I read books I knew I was in a dummy if I didn't know the word I would try to sound it out or read the words next to it to find out what that word was sometimes I still struggle but I find I'm never too old to learn something new.
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